Unconditionally Enough
“But with myself, I am deeply, profoundly and unconditionally enough.”
This weekend, my housemates and training partners left for their various track meets. I considered going with Ramon and Flings just because, but in the end decided against it. I didn't want to ruin the routine I had going with travel that I didn't have to go on. I'm also trying to save money and going someplace where I'd definitely have to spend money on food would not help with that at all.
But the biggest reason I didn't want to go was that I wanted to have some time to myself. It's been ages since I've had the house completely to myself. And while the nights can be scary (I'm the type to throw on all the lights and run through rooms to escape the invisible monsters), generally I enjoy the quiet.
I love my own noises. Lying down with my music on full blast - not napping - just resting my mind. I love the fact that I could walk around naked if I wanted to, even if I rarely take the chance to. I love how productive I can be. Suddenly things become clean and work gets done. I just love spending time with myself.
It's refreshing. It's something I realized I miss about Boston. In Boston, if I felt like getting some 'me' time, I'd just head out alone on some random adventure. Sometimes I'd go to a cafe, or take myself out to dinner, or just enjoy the weather (as long as it was warm and dry outside). I'd go on walks or find a quiet study corner to relax in.
That's all a lot harder to do in Syracuse. Sidewalks are sparse, transportation is limited, destinations are far, and I just don't feel comfortable in this place that is still pretty new to me.
I cherish these days where I can find that same peace.
